by:  Aria E. Appleford ( This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it )

We all are plagued with self-doubts at least some time during our lives ... those moments when even despite the accolades of those around us we look in the mirror and fear we may not be able to handle a situation. Most people confront themselves on a daily basis demeaning their abilities and their presentation to the world around them, sure that at some point they will be found out to be a fake and the game will be up.

Part of it is because we always tend to dismiss our own abilities because we come to them easily. I remember the first time someone offered me money for one of my paintings ... I practically choked and could not believe that someone would want to pay me for something that was garbage. Even as I sold more and more and had people from overseas coming to buy my art, I still fought the self doubt demon within. I realized I was dismissing my work because it seemed to me that others who painted worked very hard and were talented with what they did. Mine was just picking up a paint brush and dabbling in the paint when the feeling struck me.

There are all kinds of programmes out there that teach us mantras and visualizations to build our self-esteem but they are doomed to ineffectiveness for one simple reason. They enhance the problem rather than solve it.  They forget the key componants that Jose always taught about how this works.   When you are filled with self-doubt, take a few moments, and simply resolve to take the focus off yourself and your importance and place in the scheme of life. What others think of you is irrelevant. You are who you are, your place is yours.

The difference between time with self in discovery and time with self in doubts are significant. Beyond one being negative and the other positive, when we are engaged in self discovery we are learning about who we are in connection with the world around us. In doing this we celebrate both our similarities and our differences. With doubts we use those differences as self flagellation and convincing arguments as to the lack of our self value.

So when you find yourself heading down that negative path of thought, break the circuit. Look away and engage yourself in something where the focus is on someone or something else. Take a deep breath and instead of asking the question, “what if I can’t do this?” ask yourself, “why am I feeling so threatened right now?” One question takes you into the dark regions of doubt while the other offers you a hand and brings you into the daylight where you can better understand self and therefore break the cycle of thought that has become your habit.
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