New Years Resolutions

By:  Aria E. Appleford

As we move into the New Year many people are obsessed with making New Year Resolutions.  In many cases, they will be the same resolutions they make every year and they will fervently try to make them work, only to give up some time in January and then wait for the next December to come around to find the courage to try again.


The problem with setting goals like this is that instead of inspiring us, these goals end up becoming constant reminders of our inadequacies.  They hang over us and whisper in our ears of our failure until we end up using them as weapons to bash our already bruised egos. 


Jose commented that people err when they say they can do whatever they want in life.  Real success is found in understanding what you were meant to do, and then doing it.  So many of our goals and pursuits in life are based on what others expect and want from us.  Do people want to lose weight because they want to be healthy, or to fit some image manufactured in a fashion magazine that they think will make them more popular?  Why do we want more money?  To have the best car in the office or the biggest house on the block?   When we find out what it is we were meant to do and put our time and energy into pursuing that, success comes, happiness intact.


Sometimes, reality does not allow us as middle-aged people, the luxury of mapping out our entire lives again.  We have bills to pay, people who depend on us, and many other commitments.  The idea of “undoing” can be so overwhelming as to cause people deep despair and to give up on the idea that their lives could be any different.  The truth is that you can find the part of you that is real and you can find a way to add that dimension into your day to day.  The creative person who now finds themselves on an assembly line in a factory for a living, can find a way to bring creativity into his work – perhaps it is in their dress, their work station, the social club they volunteer for … there are always ways to start honoring self in any situation.  Like any seed planted, a little sunshine, water and attention, and it grows and wonderful things begin to happen.


So spend the time this year looking not for empty resolutions but begin with a simple ideal that works for you.  Pick a theme that is going to govern your life, if you will.


Begin by looking at your life and getting to the core of what is going on for you  and what you need. (not what others need of you or want for you … what YOU need.)  You can do this by focusing on your feelings – follow them to find what is lacking.  Then use that painful place to create a positive affirmative countermeasure – feeling out of control and lacking self discipline when it comes to food and exercise – you might chose “discipline,”  or  “moderation.”  It can be helpful to look at other areas of your life – is this a problem there as well?  (Children who can learn to delay immediate gratification are almost guaranteed of a more successful life.)  Use the word you chose to be your “ideal” for the coming year.  Let it govern and temper all your decisions.  As you go through the year you can take pride in the fact this is a process and you are working on the underlying SOURCE of the problem and making daily progress.  You can enjoy and participate in the journey and realize the destination is simply a place you will one day arrive. 

Using the Silva techniques to enhance this process makes it even more valuable.  The 3 scene technique works beautifully, and using the positive imagery in your daily meditation practices is also beneficial.  Work on your immediate problems and then as you conquer them you will find yourself arriving at a life “ideal.”  I carry mine in a special necklace that is a little silver tube with a screw off top and room for a tiny scroll.  I remind myself of it daily and take it into consideration whenever I am faced with decisions, “which path honors my ideal best?”  It is just one way to help take the frenetic pace out of living and allow yourself to sit back and enjoy the journey.


My wish for all of you in the New Year is simply peace – peace of heart and mind and soul  - that you may find within you the love that has always been there.

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